The waiting is killing me...

I am waiting, waiting, waiting. I have to petition to get back into college and the petitions committee meets today, 10 am pst. Please send good thoughts my way. I really want to get back in.

Okay, *rant warning!*, here's the deal. I know I have messed up my own education a bit. My first year I did not have any direction. So while my neighbors in the dorm were working so hard towards a degree I didn't have a plan and all I could think about was how I has missed an opportunity to get into the Equine program (which I would have loved) because I hadn't informed myself of what was available to me.

So my first year out of School was pretty much a waste- thought I did receive decent grades for the most part. My classes were a pretty eclectic mix. I wish my advisor had taken a stronger hand in guiding me- but I also know I they might have tried and I wasn't ready to listen.

Then we moved to Moscow, ID. Maybe not the best decision. Both Doug and I had to sit out for a year to get residency. You lose a lot of momentum by sitting out a year.

Then the intervening years have been a mix of attending for only one semester or only taking a class or two due to money concerns. I dropped a lot of classes so I could work full time just to survive.

It seriously bothers me that if you parents make X amount of money- the government won't give you your full allotment of student loans. They actually expect your parents to pay for your room/board, bills, and college. And the amount they expect your parents to make is ridiculously low.

They have their own expenses, like a house, taxes, and money needing to be set aside for retirement. So my parents did the best they could to help me, bless them! But it still wasn't enough- even with the pittance that I could get for financial aid.

So then, finally, last year I found out I was pregnant! Yay! Right? Ugh- wait! Morning Sickness!

My morning sickness started just as I entered the fall semester. I was being able to attend only one class every month or so because I was so sick. Finally, the doctor told me it was foolish to stress myself out over trying to attend classes and I needed to withdraw. And for some reason or another, the medical withdrawal didn't get finalized through the University.

So effectively, I flunked all my classes for fall semester 2006 which gives me the wonderful GPA of... 1.0. Yikes. So my Dean is going to bat for me tomorrow to try and convince a committee that I should be allowed another chance. I have to retake all those bad classes to raise my GPA. Hopefully, my GPA will look so much better that MSU Billings will let me register for Fall semester.

So I guess, I know that I have messed up my own college career by not being focused enough on a major and on my studies, but now that I am married, have a child and am over the age of 24- I actually get a decent amount of assistance. I won't have to work 2 jobs just to pay rent and my university bill. Thank goodness! I feel like I can really concentrate and just get down to business. I am ready to stop this merry-go round of attending school, not attending school, achieving at school, not achieving at school.

So I am hoping for wonderful news today, being able to register, and going back to school for the Spring 2007 semester!